RIP Targamarr

 
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     It’s been a few weeks since Eve Vegas, and over and over again I have sat down to try to compose my thoughts from the amazing weekend. But I’m not going to lie, I just lacked the motivation after first getting sick with the flu, learning of the passing of BigCountry and now, just yesterday, learning that the CEO of our alliance, Targamarr, passed away by taking his own life.

I’m not even sure how to really write this but I really wanted to get my words on paper just to get them out and share them.

Eve Vegas this year was my 5th year attending and I can say that it is on the top of my list as being one of the best years. I got to meet more amazing people and also reacquaint myself with people that I have seen in the past years as well – hang out, have drinks, and share stories. This experience of just being with the people that we hang out in comms and ingame is what makes Eve Vegas what it is. The panels, store, and demo’s are just an added bonus to the experience.

This was also the first year I didn’t feel rushed every night to do everything since a very good and amazing friend had let me room with him so I didn’t have to rush back and forth between the convention and home. I was actually able to go out and do all the late night events and even hang out at the heart bar (the central gathering place for meeting up with corps and alliances).

The last day of the convention is when it starts to set in that the event is coming to an end, but little did we know how true that shake back to reality was going to be this year.

A few days after Eve Vegas, was a post sharing news of BigCountry’s passing; a well known member of the Eve community, famous for the Open Comms Show on TMC; but for me, also a friend and former co-worker. This news hit me pretty hard and I can say that I was a mess to say the least – but it was amazing to see how the community had come together in his passing to remember him.

 


 

Fast forward to today, almost a week later, my alliance got shaken up as well with the passing of our alliance CEO, Targamarr. We learned that he had not only passed away, but that he passed away by taking his own life. 

This was announced in Discord by Bandit773, one of the leadership of TMA:

“We are deeply saddened to tell you about some extremely shocking and sudden news that we were given this morning.

Targamarr (executor of The Methodical Alliance) aka Toby has passed as of Monday night. We were notified this morning that he had taken his own life Monday evening.

At this time the family is asking for privacy, as they deal with this shocking and terrible news. The family is currently working towards gathering funds for his funeral arrangements. This is very difficult psychologically and financially on his family who has already been facing the hardship of his wife’s terminal cancer. Please take a moment of silence for him and his family.

Targamarr/Toby was well known through the back halls and channels of Eve, as a great diplomat, cool head and always had a kind word for others. He had an infectious attitude and outlook on life. Where many others in eve exploit the smallest of weaknesses, Targamarr always found the good in people. His laughter and counsel will be missed. Targ/Toby was in his late fifties and played eve for quite sometime, the last 6 years as the leader of the methodical alliance.

We are asking that if anyone has any thoughts of suicide, depression or hurting themselves or are facing other equally difficult situations in life that you need help with in real life, please seek out one of your leaders; myself, acks or Twisted.

The Eve community has a lot of resources for players that struggle with and face these kinds of situations and thoughts. They are all kept under the banner of “Broadcast for reps” and you can read about them here: 

https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=443303
http://evenews24.com/2015/10/26/broadcast-4-reps/
Spam 4 Heals – The official non-profit for Broadcast 4 Reps.
Broadcast 4 Reps Wiki – r/EVE wiki
“Broadcast4Reps” – in game channel (EVE only)
#BroadcastForReps – #Broadcast4Reps – tags used on Twitter and Facebook.
The Best of Us – Support for Military and Veterans in the EVE community. Highly recommended for us veterans.
The Outlander “The War Within” – A community group for those dealing with PTSD.

 Leaders from all around Eve have been notified and are pulling together to assist the family in funding the cremation with a GoFund. Me. The link for the GoFundME will be made available within the next 24hrs.”

We need to pull together as a team and not let this divide us during this difficult time. We value each and every member of this alliance and need you to be strong as we remember our fallen friend and move forward in Eve.

 


 

This news hit me so hard as well, and even sitting here, I’m not sure how to make sense of everything. All you can is try your best to remember your friends. I didn’t know Targamarr as long as I did BigCountry, however that doesn’t make the pain any less and knowing that we just lost another amazing member to our community and a great friend.

Prior to being in TMA (The Methodical Alliance), my corp was a part of DEEPS (DeepSpace) alliance, where we were both members of the GoTG (Guardians of the Galaxy) coalition. During this time, I was also a part of the coalition leadership and because of that is when I first initially met Targamarr, but I never really got to know him other than being an acquaintance.

It wasn’t until later on, about 4-5 months ago where I got to know him more and more. DEEPS, TMA, and NAGA (Nerfed Alliance Go Away) were approached by GoTG leadership and given an choice to merge or to leave the coalition as it was noted that we were under-performing. Instead of leaving, the three alliances decided to merge and form under the TMA banner and become a bigger and stronger entity. 

The merge I can’t say went perfect, but with that said however, one thing that I remember right from the start is Targamarr and how he always did his best to make people feel welcome and would want to try to get to know everyone.

I remember on one of the first days that everyone had merged, he passed in local and stopped to talk to everyone, welcoming everyone into the family, and just kicking back with everyone.

Targamarr was always like this though. He was genuine and he made you feel like you were really part of the family; like you mattered. If you had something to say; he would listen to you and do what he said he was going to do.

He was passionate about the alliance, his extended family. He always looked for the best in people no matter what and every conversation you’d have with him, he’d always leave it on something positive and then, quoting the man directly, saying:

[PRI4] Targamarr “I truly appreciate you”

He was a great leader, a great friend, a great person, and he is going to be missed so much! We don’t know who’s going to be the new CEO of the alliance, but no one will ever be able to truly take his place.

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Screenshot of one of the Cyno vigils in CH9L-K

Paula Myok – “Targamarr was always there when anyone needed help. That is how I have come to know him over the last three years. He was just that kind of special person. I am shocked to hear he is gone and will miss him terribly. It was an honor to know him.”

LadyScarlet68 – “It is with extreme sadness to learn that my dear long time friend Targamarr has passed on, No words can describe how i feel about this news or even how to process it. We got to know each back when my Corp first join NC in our campaign to kill the original NC Targs and his alliance The Methodical Alliance came in alongside of us to support us so many years ago and to this day he has always given NC. what ever support we may have needed if we asked. He would do it almost blindly. If i ever needed anything, from taken in a trainee or w/e it was he was always happy to assist. When we didn’t have anything important going on he would just send mails to see how i was doing just to check up or just to update me on things he felt important to share. A Lot of people say oh it’s just a game or a face behind the screen the one thing this past EVE Vegas has shown me is there is real people with real lives and real bonds that are made I’m sorry i never got to meet him in person but from what i do know of him he will truely be missed by me regardless. My heartfelt sympathies goes out to his family his friends his corp and anyone who had the pleasure to know him.”

Parthannun Solette – “He has been like a brother to me and a little my mentor in teaching me how to act with people. so now i’m really lost and i don’t know how or what to do anymore. he never had an indication or anything that he was going down that road so the shock for me and the others is indescribable or whatever that word is :'( Bye Bro i miss ya”

These comments were pulled from the Reddit Post made by Sort Dragon.

 


 

He leaves behind his wife, kids, and grandchildren and our heart goes out to them completely. If you knew Targamarr or you just want to support his family during these times, please consider helping through his wife’s GoFundMe page and give what you can; anything will help.

There will also be fleets run in his honor run in conjunction with Spectre Fleet and TMA on Sunday November 13th, 2130 Eve Time.

This loss still hurts more than the amount of words that I put on this, but please remember that you are NOT alone! Reach out if you need to talk to someone, you are important! You are appreciated, and loved.

#BroadcastForReps

 

Tags: b4r, erika mizune

About the author

Erika Mizune

Erika officially started her Eve career in 2011 after having been introduced to Eve through Eve Radio from DJ’s and listeners in the IRC channel. Nowadays, she's an established industrialist, a manager at EVE Radio, and active in the community.


  • DireNecessity

    Sweet lord this parade of eulogy is heartrendingly important. If I may quote from that same Reddit thread:
    feiryred 11 points 1 day ago
    We of the Sixth Empire Alliance have made it our mission to support #B4R and will also ensure that a candle will be lit by his name at the Eve Monument in Reykyavik. We also offer our sincere condolences and sympathies to his friends and family. Fly safe Targamarr o7

    As much as we scream and yell and shoot each other in the space face we sure as hell care the world for each other. When a picture of the Sixth Empire’s Reykyavik memorial service becomes available would somebody in the know please either post a link here or let me know and I’ll post the link.

    o7 Targamarr

  • Condolences

    I am sorry to hear he passed away, condolences to his family. But was not a cool headed person if he committed suicide.

    • Condolences

      Also, I don’t know much about him. But if my wife had terminal cancer, I would not commit suicide so she can die alone. It’s kind of cowardly. Anyways my prayers are with her.

      • Jare

        Really helpful bro, couldn’t keep it to yourself?

      • Cookem

        Real smooth…

        o7 Targ.

      • Marc Callan

        No. No, no, no. You can’t impose a purely rational mindset on someone in a situation that may well have been stressful beyond the ability of a rational person to cope. You don’t know what issues were involved. You don’t know whether he’d been fighting for years to combat depression, only to suffer a relapse at the end. You don’t know the circumstances, so you don’t get to pass judgment.

        • Absolutely this. You have no idea the number of ways a human’s mind could convince itself that ending their lives is the only way to go.

          The reality is that headspace is a motherfucker. Hundreds of thousands commit suicide each year, and the only truly cowardly ones I can confidently point to are of tyrants.

          Addiction, depression/bipolar, external pressures can all contribute to that, and for some people in their own personal hell, it could be all of those things and more happening simultaneously.

          Unless you get a first-hand announcement of why this happened, you really have no idea what possesses someone to cut their lives short, and even then, you still can’t be sure. It’s not for you to judge, and judging is certainly not a constructive use of your energy toward a family who’s clearly taken on some horrible burdens as it is.

  • dragonshardz

    I never met Targamarr, but please accept my most sincere condolences.

  • rixxjavix

    On behalf of all of the pilots and players in A Band Apart and Stay Frosty our thoughts, prayers and sincere condolences are with his family and friends at this difficult time.

  • Razordreamz

    o7

  • deldain

    May his soul find peace. Fair seas and Following winds

  • Kamar Raimo

    A heartfelt, brave and moving article on personal relationships among community members. Something that arrives at a time when I am spending evenings with my GalMil friends at EVEsterdam and drives home the point that one never knows whether this time might be the last time, as sad as that sounds.

    I hope it wont be though, and I hope you can carry on Erika.

  • Truly saddened to hear about this. Targ was a good friend. We founded TMA together with his son back in 2011 and we kept in contact for years. Toby truly was a great guy and a great friend. This shocks me greatly. RIP Targ, you were a great friend and I am thankful for the years I knew you.

  • Mathew Soderstrom

    Semper fi Devil Dog.