Diary of a Wimpy Fit

 

One of the most famous members of the Eve Online community, there isn’t much Sindel Pellion hasn’t got her sticky little fingers in. Now she joins the Crossing Zebras fold to give you her thoughts and opinions on the game at large…

Have you ever tried to blend in somewhere you do not belong? Like reeeeeeeeeeeeally do not belong? You know it and the people around you know it; it is just beneath them to say anything about it. This is my life in Pandemic Legion.

mlfw4654-JustDoItYouWimp

I get asked about Pandemic Legion a lot (Xander, in particular, asks the most questions. I think he’s a PL fanboy). I didn’t really understand why at first, but the longer I’m here, the more it makes sense. You see, I began playing Eve almost three years ago – still a baby to a lot of Pandemic Legion. So while I get on swimmingly with my alliance-mates on a social level, I cannot do a lot of the things they expect me to.

For instance:

 

 

  • I cannot use some Tech II mods, nor can I afford their faction counterparts. Of course, the doctrine fits I’m working with highlight my inadequacies. Put me in a shield-tanked Minmatar ship and I’m fine. When was the last time you saw PL in a fleet of shield-tanked Minmatar ships, though? Cut to me fitting best-named mods and praying I don’t die.

 

 

  • I have, like, 2 skill points in drones. I can use Tech I light and medium sentry drones. When you launch a pile of Warrior Is, while everyone else is launching Bouncers and Curators, it attracts attention.

 

 

  • If you are launching said drones in PL, you are most likely doing it from your carrier. More specifically, a Slowcat. For those who don’t know, PL names all of their doctrines after cats. Slowcat is the name for Archons. Not only do I have no freaking clue what all the cat fleets are, I cannot fly an Archon, so when I undock my Nidhoggur, I tend to get a bit of flack.

 

 

  • I’m poor. At this moment, I have 1.4 billion isk in my wallet. Not bad for a newer player… but when you’re flying the kind of ships PL wants you to fly, you’re one, maybe two fights away from bankruptcy. Granted, I did just spend 700 million on a new Rattlesnake; however, I was told by my FC not to fly the Rattlesnake until my drone skills improve. *sigh* Sure is fun spinning it, though.

 

 

  • I have no clue what I’m doing most of the time. I do not know the difference between ammo or resist  types. I look for fits on freaking Battleclinic. I forget to activate mods on a regular basis. I’m constantly asking my husband, Bagehi, to repeat things that FC says because fuck me if I heard it.

 

 

I could go on and on about all the things I cannot do, but there really is no point. You either get it, or you think I’m exaggerating. Instead, let me show you. Gather round, friends, while I tell you a story…

Last Thursday, Solar decided it would be fun to welp a bunch of supers. PL, being PL, immediately formed a Slowcat fleet to go kill said supers. I joined fleet, got into my Nidhoggur (mistake one), asked my husband if the fit was okay (mistake two), then got on the titan. I didn’t care that I had 300 Hammerheads and Warriors in my drone bay, I was going to get on some kills, dammit!

(This, by the way, was the first time I have ever taken my carrier into combat. Until last week, it was just a suitcase.)

If you were in 78R for this fight, you know that TiDi, as usual, was awful. The whole fight was awful, except for Solar and friends dying. That was neat. I assigned my drones and pretty much sat there. It was… underwhelming.

“This is it?” I asked Bag.

“Pretty much,” he replied. “Keep me locked and listen for instructions but, yeah, this is what a Cap fight is like.”

Everything was fine for about an hour. I wasn’t hitting anything, my drones were constantly idle, but nothing was hitting me either, so I was happy. Glass half-full kind of person, that’s me. It was about that time that someone on comms asked about activating their Remote Armor Rep. They were told, in the most colorful of ways, that the Remote Armor Rep shouldn’t even be fit, that they needed a different mod in its place.

No, I do not remember which one.  The conversation got a little fuzzy at that point as a prickly, something-isn’t-right feeling came over me.  I was very confused.  What were these mods they were going on about?!?!?  I nudged Bag and asked him what they meant.

“What do you mean?” he asked, looking at my screen.

I threw that last part on there for a reason. See, when I had asked him earlier about my fit, he never looked up from his screen – something I didn’t realize until that moment. Had I realized it, I never would have undocked in this:

Nidhoggur travel

That’s right. I took a travel fit Nidhoggur into battle – a mistake that, if discovered, would be the most humiliating thing I have ever done in Eve Online. I spent the next hour quietly seething, praying that the fight would just end so I could dock up, log out, and forget the whole thing ever happened. I was mortified that I could make such a ridiculous mistake and more than a little pissed at Bag. He was, for what it’s worth, extremely apologetic. He didn’t need to worry though, because it all turned out fine. The fight wound down, I survived and just before we bridged out Makalu said something snarky about my morale Nidhoggur on comms. Okay, that part wasn’t fine, but whatever. Maka is an ass.

I quietly thanked God that I survived, got the hell out of there,and logged. I spent the next 30 minutes searching for the correct Nidhoggur fitting on the PL forums, dejectedly giving up when I saw the words “Dear Chimera and Nidhoggur, please kill yourself and respawn as an Archon.”

Alrighty then.

So there. Proof positive that I do not belong in Pandemic Legion. Hell, that’s pretty much proof that I do not belong in Eve. Gonna keep flying, though. No power in the ‘verse could stop me.

P.S.  In case you were wondering, no, I did not get any kills that night. Insult to injury.

Tags: PL, sindel, slowcat

About the author

Sindel Pellion

Trying to figure out where you’ve heard her name? When not running in-game charity, The Angel Project, she has a thing for taking catchy pop songs and making mediocre Eve parodies from them. For some reason, people encourage this nonsense.


  • Ambo

    Yeah, that’s pretty much how I remember null sec. I spent a few weeks there once but it just seemed really dull, even when there was an actual fight going on.

  • Poetic Stanziel

    “Dear Chimera and Nidhoggur, please kill yourself and respawn as an Archon.”

    I lol’d hugely at that. It sounds very much like the Goonwiki.

    • QQ

      fuckoff

  • Poetic Stanziel

    Just because Bags is in PL does not mean you have to be in PL. Why don’t you find a low-tech corp that just has fun. Like Fweddit or Brave Newbies or Stay Frosty?

    • QQ

      fuck off?

  • Poetic Stanziel

    And your Christmas-themed UI … thumbs up.

    • QQ

      fuck off

  • Joffy Aulx-Gao

    I don’t see why you are in PL, it sounds like you don’t enjoy it that much. Join Stay Frosty and have fun 😛

    • Forlorn Wongraven

      Big daddy Grath doesn’t allow her to leave.

    • Messiah Complex

      Yeah … you’ve been friends with these people for three years. Just bounce!

  • Kirith Kodachi

    Y U NO HAV OWN BLOG? U RITE GOOD!

    😉

  • JD

    Guys, really good work with getting together the blogs. I’ve enjoyed all three so far. A good use of your new found fortune! Thanks. (although I couldn’t access the site on Wednesday).

  • Andre Nantel

    Listen to Joffy, he is wise.

  • Is that… 2 best sisters play?

    YES.
    E: Also, really loved the article, gave me a giggle remembering doing similar stuff under the pressure of undocking.

  • Makalu

    I did say it as a joke…and you seemed to take it way too seriously…

  • anon

    What an absolutely enjoyable read thanks for the article.

  • Messiah Complex

    I can’t fly a carrier either.

  • GrouchyOldGamer

    Great post, I chuckled all the way through.

  • D3rp

    Unrigged Niddy is unrigged

  • Vici

    I would read the shite out of a ‘Sindel the Stay Frosty pirate’ series.
    Really enjoying the regular blogposts from EVE’s very own princess.

  • SpaceNoob

    It’s good to know that older characters are “bad at EVE” since I’m awful at it and yet still enjoy it. Glad you’ve started this article series here. More please. I can almost imagine you dodging the killmail and muttering “I am a leaf on the wind”

    • Sindel Pellion

      Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!

  • MandozerTheGreat

    https://soundcloud.com/honorablememberofpl/talon-scorpio-outrage

    you should ragequit like she did if you are that flustered about nidhoggurs being shit. Alternatively lick a CCP devs face so he gets flustered and fixes caps, o7.

    • MandozerTheGreat

      Like, you are a chill person and pretty awesome but fuck the bullshit/