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Brave and The North

 

Look, I’m happy to do a little industry, roam in fun fleets, and when given the chance, drop my Nidhoggurs and rep the fuck out of something. Life’s good down in Querious. Tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I’m fine.

Now, along comes the Troubles in the North, and I’m supposed to write intelligently on the topic.

Let it be clear that I really don’t have a personal grudge against any of the main protagonists in the fighting. I’ve met many of them IRL at EVE Vegas and other events and drank beer with most of those. I’m not Grrr-pretty-much-anybody but a small subset of shitclowns that I do actively dislike.

On one side, you have The Imperium. They like to smash people and people don’t like getting smashed.

On one side, you have The Imperium, led by Goons who have somehow infuriated people by not acting ‘properly’ in a game designed to be a lawless anarchy of internet spaceships. Yes, yes, you can read the list of the terrible things the Goons have done; I don’t really give a shit. They like to smash people and people don’t like getting smashed. And when they smash you, they like to salt the earth as well, just for spite. It’s simple enough.

On the other side, you have the Money Badger Coalition of various groups all with some dream of revenge on The Imperium, where the apparent only qualification for entry is that you say “Grrr Goons!” three times into a mirror and upload a video to /r/Eve. This motley assortment of knuckleheads, whose main skills lie in creating propaganda memes, has brilliantly determined that “outblobbing the Goon blob” is an amazingly strategic innovation.

The third group in this frothing mess is the gaggle of podcasters, streamers, and ‘journalists’, all salivating over the thought of increased numbers of listeners/viewers/views that a big war will bring. This rabble will do everything in their power to keep the drama level turned up to 11 and that every juicy rumour is given the credence of stone tablets arriving from Mount Sinai. The amount of tinfoil will lead cause metal shortages across New Eden. 

brave-newbies

Somehow, my own group will be dragged into this seething mass mob mentality and chaos. Making smart diplomatic decisions has never been our strong point. We’ll probably get paid just so our logo can be added to propaganda images.

How will it end? No idea.

But I suspect it will come down to numbers, pure and simple. If Money Badgers can keep the mob rolling and avoid internal conflict, it’s likely they can out number The Imperium and hold a conga line in VFK (although not if last night is anything to go by). If the Goons can put up a Stalinesque defense and slow down the mob, it’s likely the coalition of the bloodthirsty will dwindle as the sociopaths inside will be unable to resist resorting to cannibalism and blue shooting, making some groups take their ball and go home.

The few actually smart strategists around in Goonswarm and Pandemic Legion are playing an elaborate chess game of supercapitals, holding out these pieces until the time is right for a true battle of the ages.

The few actually smart strategists around in Goonswarm and Pandemic Legion are playing an elaborate chess game of supercapitals, holding out these pieces until the time is right for a true battle of the ages. Will it happen before the Great Capital Transmogrification occurs? It’s the last chance for a one sided rout of supercaps, before change arrives and no one leaves a capital battle unscathed.

Much will be written about what will happen next. The truth will be determined by which side can convince more pilots to avoid work and skip class to log in and fleet up. Everything else is bullshit.

Tags: brave, Dunk, World War Bee

About the author

Dunk Dinkle

Dunk Dinkle has played Eve since 2008. A life-long gamer, he's played MMORPGs since the first days of Ultima Online. In Eve, he's taken a path from high sec mission running to factional warfare to null sec. After the battle of Asakai, Dunk landed in Brave Newbies where he annoys FCs with an extensive soundboard.

  • And this is a breath of fresh air. Good article.

  • Robert

    Damn good article.

  • Arrendis

    Nice, blunt, and accurate.

  • Kama Kairade

    Re: “The Imperium, led by Goons who have somehow infuriated people by not acting ‘properly’ in a game”

    Many of us find their out-of-game behavior to be the fuel for the opposition. If the DBRB interview didn’t want to make you burn Goon’s Eve assets to the ground, I don’t know what will.

  • Kamar Raimo

    Cranium Plating was sold out in Jita for weeks. The salesguy said I could use some dank memes as a temporary measure instead. They are cheaper by the dozen he said.

  • Seraph IX Basarab

    What the fuck is this? No coherent point, no follow through, nothing.

    • schwaboy

      Not grrgoon enough for your liking?

    • Bisu Deckryder

      Nice job describing every one of your articles Seraph

    • theseconddavid

      S9B calling someone out for a shit article? That’s like a tow truck with a flat tire.

  • RoAnnon

    Very good read. Well done, sir.

  • Bisu Deckryder

    it’s likely the coalition of the
    bloodthirsty will dwindle as the sociopaths inside will be unable to
    resist resorting to cannibalism and blue shooting, making some groups
    take their ball and go home.

    Stay classy Dunk