Brave and The NorthDunk Dinkle
Look, I’m happy to do a little industry, roam in fun fleets, and when given the chance, drop my Nidhoggurs and rep the fuck out of something. Life’s good down in Querious. Tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I’m fine.
Now, along comes the Troubles in the North, and I’m supposed to write intelligently on the topic.
Let it be clear that I really don’t have a personal grudge against any of the main protagonists in the fighting. I’ve met many of them IRL at EVE Vegas and other events and drank beer with most of those. I’m not Grrr-pretty-much-anybody but a small subset of shitclowns that I do actively dislike.
On one side, you have The Imperium. They like to smash people and people don’t like getting smashed.
On one side, you have The Imperium, led by Goons who have somehow infuriated people by not acting ‘properly’ in a game designed to be a lawless anarchy of internet spaceships. Yes, yes, you can read the list of the terrible things the Goons have done; I don’t really give a shit. They like to smash people and people don’t like getting smashed. And when they smash you, they like to salt the earth as well, just for spite. It’s simple enough.
On the other side, you have the Money Badger Coalition of various groups all with some dream of revenge on The Imperium, where the apparent only qualification for entry is that you say “Grrr Goons!” three times into a mirror and upload a video to /r/Eve. This motley assortment of knuckleheads, whose main skills lie in creating propaganda memes, has brilliantly determined that “outblobbing the Goon blob” is an amazingly strategic innovation.
The third group in this frothing mess is the gaggle of podcasters, streamers, and ‘journalists’, all salivating over the thought of increased numbers of listeners/viewers/views that a big war will bring. This rabble will do everything in their power to keep the drama level turned up to 11 and that every juicy rumour is given the credence of stone tablets arriving from Mount Sinai. The amount of tinfoil will lead cause metal shortages across New Eden.
Somehow, my own group will be dragged into this seething mass mob mentality and chaos. Making smart diplomatic decisions has never been our strong point. We’ll probably get paid just so our logo can be added to propaganda images.
How will it end? No idea.
But I suspect it will come down to numbers, pure and simple. If Money Badgers can keep the mob rolling and avoid internal conflict, it’s likely they can out number The Imperium and hold a conga line in VFK (although not if last night is anything to go by). If the Goons can put up a Stalinesque defense and slow down the mob, it’s likely the coalition of the bloodthirsty will dwindle as the sociopaths inside will be unable to resist resorting to cannibalism and blue shooting, making some groups take their ball and go home.
The few actually smart strategists around in Goonswarm and Pandemic Legion are playing an elaborate chess game of supercapitals, holding out these pieces until the time is right for a true battle of the ages.
The few actually smart strategists around in Goonswarm and Pandemic Legion are playing an elaborate chess game of supercapitals, holding out these pieces until the time is right for a true battle of the ages. Will it happen before the Great Capital Transmogrification occurs? It’s the last chance for a one sided rout of supercaps, before change arrives and no one leaves a capital battle unscathed.
Much will be written about what will happen next. The truth will be determined by which side can convince more pilots to avoid work and skip class to log in and fleet up. Everything else is bullshit.